Self Help

Is This Love?

The other day I was thinking about what true love actually means. Is it what we see in the movies or read in the romantic novels? Or is it something far more than that? Does the true love exist? Are the love birds around us actually in love or is it just admiration and infatuation? I was totally barraged with all this.

I pondered over them and assessed my questions on the basis of my past experience. There was a question constantly bugging me – why they fall for their good looking counterparts? Why in most cases men don’t fall for not so beautiful girls(no offence)? Why beautiful girls don’t fall for poor and not so good looking guys(no offence again)? If love depends on looks and financial security then it is not love at all. I’d rather call it a business. A business where a woman sells his beauty to a rich guy or a good looking guy or both. Love depending upon sexual attraction can’t last forever. Beauty is so ubiquitous and a man’s heart is so astatic. Beauty is not sufficient for a man to stay loyal and committed to his partner. Its spell is ephemeral.

For women it goes the same too. If they marry a man solely for his money she won’t be truly satisfied and would end up being in extra marital relationships. Money can only provide security not lasting happiness. If the partner is both good looking and rich still it won’t do good in the long run.

The prerequisites for lasting love are trust, loyalty and friendship. If you are good friends you could make a good couple too. Marry your best friend. The purest form of love is when all you want is just his/her company all the time without the involvement of lust. If you can be in a ‘sexless marriage’ with your partner then know you are truly in love. This might sound ludicrous but it is not. There is a thin line between infatuation and love. Infatuation is when all you want is to have her/him in your life whether it hurts them or not, on the other hand, love is when you want to see him/her happy whether he/she lives with you or without you.

Obsession with your partner in love seems so normal but it is in fact detrimental. If your obsession results in hurtfulness and fissures your relationship then it has to be eliminated. Love requires deep understanding. Scepticism and over obsession kills love. Where there is love there is freedom and reliance. True love never demands. All it knows is to cede. High expectations from your partner will only harm you because nobody is perfect. You could only afford to have only basic expectations.

Love knows no fear. If he or she is afraid to love you because of family, society, etc. then know it is not love. True love subsides every kind of fear. You don’t fear the conclusions but your only fear is to lose him/her. If your love is true don’t let it fail on the grounds of cowardice. True love is for the brave souls only.

Love the person not his appearance and his possessions. Love the soul not the body and the brain. Love with your heart or else don’t bother. Be clear about what you feel for your partner. Be 100% honest to yourself. Fall in love only if you are ready and mean it. Don’t light the spark of love in someone’s heart if you are indecisive about your own feelings.

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